Celebrating my 50th taught me a powerful lesson: asking for help deepens relationships. Instead of resourcing it all ourselves, we invited others to contribute, and their generosity turned a party into a community.
As my 50th birthday approached, my wife and I started planning. We hadn’t thrown a party in ages, and celebrating with friends would be a wonderful way to mark my jubilee year. So we got invitations printed, bunting ordered, music playlists ready. But welcoming a hundred people to our small terrace home required some larger decisions to be made. With so many people coming, should we pay a caterer to cook? If we do the cooking ourselves, should we buy a barbeque? With a small chance of rain on the day, should we buy a marquee too? Soon our party was getting expensive, and sorting everything ourselves burdensome.
The Bible’s vision of community is one of both giving and receiving. Even before the Fall, Adam needed help (Genesis 2:18), and we’re called to seek each other’s advice and share each other’s burdens (Proverbs 15:22, Galatians 6:2). The early church exemplified this, holding everything in common and benefiting from each other’s property and possessions (Acts 2:44–45). Instead of living independently, they shared, borrowed, gave, and received in beautiful interdependence. Surely the deep community they experienced flowed from this mutual sharing.
By providing everything ourselves, my wife and I wouldn’t just empty our bank account – we would miss an opportunity to deepen our relationships. So instead, we asked guests to bring a salad or dessert to the party, we asked our neighbours to bring their barbeque, and our friend Steve brought his marquee. The party was wonderful, the variety of food was a delight, and everyone who shared their goods with us went on to become closer friends.
In an age like ours, being self-sufficient can be a source of pride. In truth, it’s our greatest source of isolation. The deep loneliness felt in our generation might be halved if our first thought was to borrow instead of buy to meet our needs. By humbling ourselves and asking for help, we give others an opportunity to be generous to us – and tighten the ties that bind us.
Sheridan Voysey, Friendship Lab
Reflect
"All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need". Acts 2:44–45 (NIV)
Pray
Pray for the humility to ask for help and the grace to receive it with gratitude. Ask God to strengthen the bonds of your community through mutual sharing and generosity, so that relationships grow deeper and hearts grow closer. Pray that you might give and receive in ways that reflect the beauty of God’s design for interdependence.
Act
Acts for you to consider today:
| What item have you been thinking of buying that you could ask to borrow from a friend? | ||
| How could you share something that you own - your home, car, garden tools, etc - with someone else? | ||
| Create a church or community 'sharing hub'. Invite others to contribute second-hand tools, or books, or whatever the collective need is, and advertise this for people to use. |
Share
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About Friendship Lab
Imagine a world where everyone has at least three '2am friends'—people we can talk to, depend on, grow with, and enjoy life with; people we can call at 2am when everything has gone wrong. At Friendship Lab, we believe this vision can become a reality.
Friendship Lab empowers adults with the wisdom and skills to make their friendships thrive. Through evidence-based courses, inspiring media projects and actionable research, we aim to address two of society’s most pressing crises: escalating loneliness and decreasing mental health.
