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Breaking the Barrier of Fear

By Anon | 11 September 2020 | Comments (1)

All of our Stewardship Recipient team have experience in support raising. This is one of our stories.


I didn’t plan to be there. Some unseen force had propelled me forward. I took the old dinner plate, lifted it high above my head and brought it down with such speed and force, smashing it into thousands of pieces. A word erupted from within me with such velocity that it burned from my stomach, through my chest, throat and out of my mouth… ”FEAR!”

As the sound of the plate and my voice reverberated, a deadly hush spread across the room. Looking up – every eye was on me. I returned to my seat with a mixture of growing embarrassment and shame, but also with a greater feeling pulsing through me: a realisation that something massive had changed.

Let me back up a bit. For some years, a small phrase written on the wall of a church had been annoying me, pushing me and poking at me: ‘Therefore GO…’ Previously, the reference to Jesus’ words in Matthew’s gospel (8:19) had pushed me to give up my enjoyable well-paid job and spend a year doing mission trips across southern Africa and Eastern Europe. But since those first trips a lot had changed. I had moved countries, got married, bought a house, had a great job and a young son.

But the words ‘Therefore GO’ had returned. Well, really, if I’m honest, they had never gone away. My wife and I had thought we’d ‘go’ once we retired perhaps, but the prodding had returned so much that we had looked into bible colleges, theological training and mission training. We’d even picked out the mission training college we’d go to “if we could” but the finances, no matter how we mashed them “just didn’t work!” I have a finance background so I thought knew what I was talking about... But it seems I was wrong.

One Sunday at church, the chap leading the service felt that Jesus had said to him that people need to ‘break things over their lives’ and so had brought in some old crockery for us to smash in a large rubbish bin. I had sat back thinking, “This is a bit different for a Sunday morning!” Little did I know that in less than a minute I’d be standing next to him.

God stepped in that day – named the problem, ‘FEAR’ and removed it! The barrier was identified and the spiritual blockage gone. Through the smashing and shouting God enabled me to let go of my fear and trust him to provide for us financially as we did what he called us to.

I couldn’t make it happen but he could and he still can today. Almost 15 years on from that day, God has lead us through missionary training college, language training, serving in West Africa for many years, to now returning to new ministries in the UK. At many times during those years ‘the maths hasn’t worked’ and sometimes the fear has returned. BUT during those times we return to the words of 1 John 4:18: ‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear’. God is good and he loves us. Throughout our journey Jesus has provided us with faith and special people around us to help us and support us – and to make it clear – HE HAS PROVIDED!

Today I consider whether COVID-19 is another potential fear to stop us from following God’s calling. It’s real and close but whomever we are, the ‘go-ers’ or the ‘partners’; the ‘givers’ or the ‘receivers’, I pray that we will have faith to break through the fear, let go and trust Jesus.


Trusting God with a Loss of Income

I Have to Raise My Own Salary?!

A New Church Plant Shows Sacrificial Love





September 14, 2020 8:22 AM
Thank you - I needed to read that this morning!

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