Mother's Day, like Father's Day, Valentine's Day and birth announcements, always causes me to take a sharp intake of breath. These occasions have the unique ability to simultaneously bring joy and pain to so many.
I am a mum to a sweet 18 month old boy called Finn and when he was born I decided to give up work. This gave me the opportunity to start meeting with a friend who works unusual hours and we began to hang out every week. I knew this friend and her husband were struggling to conceive and that it was a tough season for them, and I was desperately aware of my baby lying in the middle of the floor each week. In my "ideal" world I would have preferred if Finn was with my husband or someone else so that we could have met up without the elephant in the room. However, as the days, weeks, months went past and Finn grew, so did their relationship. When she arrived at the door, he would throw his arms up to demand a cuddle or carry over a book for her to read. One day she came into my living room and said "every time I see Finn, I am a healed a little bit more through the joy God has given him."
I know this wouldn’t be the same for everyone. I know that some people wouldn't have been able to cope with spending time with a baby every week and I understand that. But what this taught me is that sometimes Gods calls us to just be us. Us with the pain, the tears, the joy, the laughter, the ugly, the beautiful and all the rest in between. In his wisdom and mercy, God used an opportunity to bring healing because he knows my friend intimately. He knew what she could and couldn't manage and for her, spending time with Finn was what she needed. He also knew me intimately enough to know that I needed some healing too. That in my desperation to try and be empathetic with those I love who are struggling to conceive, I had become apologetic for my son’s presence.
Being just 'us', in the current season of our lives, isn't about ignoring other people's pain, or even our own. It's about trusting that our Father God loves us, and those that we love, more than we ever could. We can't control or fix every terrible thing that happens, or take on the guilt that can sometimes be associated with it. But we can love generously. God, after all, is the very creator and definition of generosity, having created our world and then given up his only Son to die on the cross for us.
In our earthly understanding of generosity we can sometimes forget the heavenly creation of it - it's not always about giving our time, our money, our gifts, our skills… sometimes it's about giving ourselves, just as we are, with all the broken bits and all the fixed bits too. And seeing what God does with it.
So whatever feelings Mother’s Day brings up for you, I want to encourage you to be you, however that might look, and to love others as you are. To practice being vulnerable and real and honest, in whatever season we are in, giving space for God to work in that. Above all, I pray that you may know a little of God’s generous love for you.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
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